happiest:

them nights when you wish someone was just laid next to you cuddling you or just fucking the shit out of you

houseofalexzander:

More gender variant style, brought to you by Elliott Alexzander with, House of Alexzander.

crusherccme:

found this gem in the 1996 Cornell Women’s Handbook. it’s what to say when a guy tries to get out of using a condom

crusherccme:

found this gem in the 1996 Cornell Women’s Handbook. it’s what to say when a guy tries to get out of using a condom

Myers Briggs by Mythical Creatures

readingontheroof:

INFJ: Phoenix
ESTP: Centaur
INTJ: Basilisk
ESFP: Pegasus
INFP: Unicorn
ESTJ: Hellhound
INTP: Wizard
ESFJ: Angel
ISFJ: Genie
ENTP: Sea Serpent
ISTJ: Vampire
ENFP: Pixie
ISFP: Siren
ENTJ: Griffin
ISTP: Werewolf
ENFJ: Fairie

horrorscopes

oreimo:

Airs- strong feelings 4 any1 who calls them cute bc they know they r not

Tarus- big head

Gemeni- kind of good looking

Cancer- smart, strong, beautiful, perfect. do not come for them

Leo- wimps

Virgin- cautious and not trusting 

Liberal- smart asses but never know what they talkin abt

Scorpion- manipulative but every1 looks past it bc they r hot

Saggitarius- do not come into contact with them no matter wat

Capricon- horny 24/7

Aquariums- K…

Pieces- ugly

drtanner:

suicunesrider:

uneditededit:

Remember in 1993 when Jurassic Park was like…the end all, be all of special effects?

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not gonna lie that still looks intimately real

I’m still somewhat convinced that someone sold their soul to create the special effects in Jurassic Park because that shit is over 20 years old and it still really, really holds up, better than the stuff in a lot of current movies, even.

Fucking witchcraft, man. 

hopeflakes:

When you see someone with a happy icon make a really angry text post

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witness-protection-with-wings:

witness-protection-with-wings:

so when i was 8 i was in an episode of iCarly and even though i’m 16 now and i have a pixie cut my friends still tell everyone that i was in iCarly.

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i pushed another child off a bench and stole her sandwich this is my legacy

Most To Least Funniest Signs (Don’t Get Offended)

funastrology:

Sagittarius/Gemini
Aquarius
Leo
Scorpio (Dark Humor)
Aries
Libra
Taurus
Cancer
Virgo
Pisces
Capricorn

tumblr keeps emailing me “things i missed” and some of it is porn im being harrassed

televisoin:

eeveez:

why did authors stop naming their chapters i loved it when there was a clever little title for each chapter it was great

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daddy doms on tumblr: the saviors of our small dark lives?

honestly theyre there for everyone they call themselves my daddy more than my real dad